Draft- Cart Pusher- Part One

NOTE: This is the first part of a TV script I wrote awhile back. I want to go back and do some heavy revisions but I figured I would post what I started with. Originally, I was shooting for a hybrid workplace and young adult drama. Again, this is a VERY rough start, and I apologize for the formatting, I copied it from another file and I was too tired to change anything.

EXT: DEPARTMENT STORE FRONT- AFTERNOON

A cookie cutter department store rests in the center of a neighborhood that isn’t quite bustling enough to be considered a city, but it definitely isn’t Podunk enough to ever be thought of as a small town. People file through the electronic doors in an orderly fashion. The parking lot is nearly full as the early afternoon crowds hit the stores for some shopping. One by one the stored gradually becomes more filled with bored teenagers and desperate housewives searching for something to make their families for dinner.

INT: PRESENT DAY BREAK ROOM-AFTERNOON

(Nick, Mike, Brett, Jake & some extras for scenery)

Enter on a poorly lit break room of a department store. The room is relatively large, but the walls are the most depressing shade of grey that has ever been created. An out dated television is broadcasting some sort of local program as no one pays attention, it is merely serving as background noise to the mind numbing boredom of part time labor. At a cafeteria style lunch table in the corner two young, twenty somethings, discuss their plans for the night ahead of them. They both are speaking in hushed voices so their conversation is not overheard by unwanted ears.

 

NICK:

What about the new guy?

 MIKE:

What about him?

 NICK:

Should we invite him? I mean, he seems normal enough.

 MIKE:

I’m almost positive if you were to talk to anyone that has ever intimately known a serial killer, the words “normal enough” are sure to occur at some point.

 NICK:

I’m sure he’s fine. I just want as many people as possible to be there.

 MIKE:

Listen, we just moved in together, and the last thing I want is to get evicted within our first week.

 NICK:

Mike, I understand and respect your concern, but I also need you to understand, that there is no goddamn way this party is not going to be the single greatest social event of our lives. Thus far anyway.

 MIKE:

Do you honestly believe, for one second, that I wouldn’t want to throw the biggest party these people have ever seen? I just think we should hold off for a couple weeks until we’re fully settled. Come on man, have you even finished unpacking yet?

 NICK:

No, but that’s only because I was planning on doing it after the party. I don’t want my valuables to get destroyed from drunk strangers and slutty girls.

 MIKE:

Your valuables?

 NICK:

Yeah my valuables.

 MIKE:

And what valuables have you been hiding from me for all this time?

 NICK:

Mostly my CD collection, but there’s some rare pressings in there.

 MIKE:

Nick, I mean this with all the love I would give to a sibling or parent, but your stuff is worthless.

 NICK:

You’re so cynical, does sentimental value mean nothing to you?

 MIKE:

You don’t want me to answer that question.

 

(Before Nick can respond their coworker Brett grabs a seat at the same table and tries to jump in on the conversation.)

 

BRETT:

What’s up whores? So is all this talk I’ve heard about a party tonight true, or is everyone just fucking with me?

 NICK:

Well gee Brett, I don’t know, you’re gonna have to talk to my man Mike here because he’s trying to shut the whole thing down before it even starts.

 BRETT:

Mike, why you got to hate fun so much?

 MIKE:

I don’t hate fun, and I would greatly appreciate it if you could keep your fucking voice down because the last thing I want is every idiot in this place to know that we’re throwing a party tonight.

 

BRETT:

So you guys are having a party tonight?

 NICK:

Mike’s afraid that we’re going to get thrown out.

 BRETT:

Didn’t you guys just move in?

 NICK:

Just last week.

BRETT:

Then why are you being such a pussy?

 NICK:

That’s a valid question Mike.

 MIKE:

I don’t think being homeless is such a good choice right now.

 

BRETT:

Well I’m assuming most of your stuff is probably still in boxes so I mean, even if you did get thrown out, the move would be a little easier. Besides, what place is going to throw you out after one party? As long as you don’t set the house on fire, what’s the worst that could happen?

 MIKE:

What about the cops?

 BRETT:

What about the cops? We’re all adults.

 MIKE:

Nick wants to invite the new guy.

 BRETT:

I wouldn’t do that, he looks like a serial killer.

 NICK:

He looks normal enough!

 BRETT:

Then you go right ahead and invite him over, but when you wake up dead, you can bet your ass I’m going to say “I told you so” at your funeral.

 NICK:

You’re too kind.

 BRETT:

Hey, don’t get me wrong, I’ll be sad and all that shit, but being right is always important even after someone has died.

 MIKE:

I believe Gandhi said that.

 NICK:

I’m inviting the new guy. You guys can deal with it.

 

BRETT:

Honestly, I don’t give any amount of fucks who comes, I just want to get hammered.

 NICK:

Sounds fair. So Mike, can we have a party?

 BRETT:

Yeah Mike, can we have a party?

 MIKE:

Jesus, you two are pushy, alright fine we can have a fucking party, but if anything happens I’m telling our landlord this was all your idea.

 NICK:

That’s fine with me.

BRETT:

So, who else should we invite tonight?

 NICK:

I thought you said you didn’t care who came tonight.

 BRETT:

I don’t, I’m just curious.

 NICK:

Well, I’m assuming you’re going to bring Neil as your plus one.

 BRETT:

Real funny dickhead, but yeah he and I are a package deal.

 MIKE:

Who else?

 NICK:

What about Jake?

 BRETT:

Well yeah, he always has weed and he’s willing to share.

 MIKE:

If you invite Jake, then you better make sure you don’t invite Hillary.

 NICK:

Why not? They’re a great couple.

 BRETT:

A great couple that technically isn’t supposed to be together.

 NICK:

Can I just say, I think that whole rule is bullshit by the way?

 MIKE:

What rule?

 BRETT:

You know, coworkers can’t date each other.

 NICK:

No, no, no, you got it wrong, you see, the three of us can date any other employee we want, as long as they’re our equal, but Jake can’t date anyone affiliated with this store because he’s a manager. Corporate doesn’t give a fuck about “office romances” they don’t want anything that can even remotely be considered nepotism.

 MIKE:

That’s fucked up.

 NICK:

Yeah, no shit.

 BRETT:

I’m inviting them both. I don’t care.

 NICK:

Are you fucking deaf or just an asshole? I just explained the situation to you and that’s your reaction.

 BRETT:

It’s a party, what do you expect? Even if anyone found out about it, it wouldn’t matter. It’s not like they’re going on a date together. They’re meeting a group of mutual friends after work for a couple of drinks to unwind. There’s nothing wrong with that.

 MIKE:

Are managers allowed to spend time with their employees outside of work?

 NICK:

Technically yes, it’s frowned upon, but there’s no official rule saying they can’t.

 BRETT:

So, you can “hang out” with them, you just can’t fuck them.

 NICK:

To be fair, the rules don’t forbid sex, they just forbid “romance.”

 BRETT:

Perfect, that just means whenever someone bangs a chick from their office they need to do it with the lights off and no eye contact.

 NICK:

I wasn’t aware there was any other way.

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