I’m Cheap and Lazy

I hate potlucks. Anytime I hear an even is going to be a potluck I either eat before or after the event. Let me be clear, I love to cook, and over the years I have amassed a fairly solid repertoire of meals I can prepare at a moment’s notice, BUT I do NOT trust YOU. I have no idea what you’re going to put in whatever meal you brought with you, and I’m not adventurous enough to try your spouse’s famous chili.

So, I bring alcohol to every event. That’s my contribution; you’re welcome. I don’t care if you’re having a christening, or a dinner party, or a a child’s birthday, I bring alcohol. Someone always appreciates the alcohol, and if they don’t then I have something to entertain myself while I watch your horrible friends and family make awkward small talk with one another.

I’m going to let you in on some classified information, I don’t bring good alcohol. I have a collection of fancy liquor bottles, but they’re all empty, so I fill them with cheap bottom shelf swill. Example, I will bring my Grey Goose bottle and have it filled with Fleischmans. The amazing thing is no one has ever noticed or called me out on this.

Moral of the story, don’t invite to your BYOB Food events and if you do invite me, I’m going to get wrecked on cheap alcohol in a fancy bottle.

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