Suck it Losers (Part One)

Holy fucking dick whistles! Just when I thought this NBA off-season couldn’t get any goddamn crazier Adam Silver showed up to my doorstep and slapped me in the face with his massive basketball loving dick.

I’m saying it again, THE TIMBERWOLVES ARE GOING TO THE PLAYOFFS!!!!!

They have had the most productive off-season in their history. Their lineup is now better than when they had Spreewell and the “human hairless cat” Sam Cassell.

As a longtime critic and religiously abused girlfriend of the Timberwolves (metaphorically, I’m a dude that has described my love for shitty Minnesota basketball as an abusive relationship) this is everything I have ever wanted and prayed for every night before I went to bed.

Like a child, I would pray on bended knee that one day the Timberwolves wouldn’t suck miles of cock and they don’t (despite never having played a single game). SWEEPING DECLARATION: Timberwolves are going back to the western conference finals within three years.

I’m basketball Nostradamus.

I’m torn, I don’t know if I want to make this one very long article, or stretch it our into various renditions. FUCK IT, multiple renditions! Adding “Part One” to the Title.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s