Thoughts on SLC Punks 2: Punk is Dead

Let’s keep this train rolling. I’m bound and determined to make this a Goddamn beloved series.

“How about all movies?”

“Fuck you, if it’s not on Netflix it doesn’t exist to me.”

SLC Punks 2 the sequel no one wanted or asked for (especially since I’m the only person I know that’s seen the first one).

Full disclosure, I’m partially too blame for the review that’s soon to follow, I hated this movie before I even pushed play. That’s not fair, I know this, but seriously, fuck every person involved with this garbage movie. I was expecting a non-canonical sequel and instead was give an awful movie disguised as a sad attempt to make a true to form sequel. I’m not sure which is worse.

I hated this movie exponentially more once it started. I swear to God here’s the opening sequence:

A kid getting pushed around at a punk concert, *Record scratch* narrator: “See that kid there, that’s my son” the voice is of the now deceased second lead from the first movie. That’s right, the entire fucking movie has a ghost narrator holding your hand along the way. Why? Because fuck you that’s why. “I’m a ghost, this my son, now watch this shit movie.”

The lead “actor” needs to quit acting all together. His lack of talent is so obvious and abysmal it’s worse than “The Room” and much less charming and amusing.

This movie is the worst thing I have seen all year. It’s not the special kind of bad where it’s still fun to watch, it’s the horrible kind of bad that’ll make you wish you could get your time back or either wish you were dead.

There are 2 positives throughout the entire movie: It’s short, only 70 minutes, thank Christ for that. And 2, the rapper know as “Machine Gun Kelly” or “MGK” is in the film and he’s a phenomenal actor, the best in the entire movie. He also has a stellar performance in the film “Nerve” his music is excellent and he’s a great actor, unfortunately not great enough to redeem this awful garbage spectacle, but he has infinite potential. To quote the character of Turtle from the hit television program Entourage: “All rappers act,” indeed Turtle, indeed.

I give this film 0/5 if I have to give it anything I’ll give it 1/5. Not only is it out of my queue but I will need to explore mind erase technology similar to “Eternal Sunshine” to forget this movie exists.